The Craving

Last night I had a strange dream, I was at Girl's Camp (a way fun camp for the girls 12-18 in our church) and one of the activities was Yoga (there was also a large dinosaur on the loose so we had to be very careful). Oh man in my dream it felt so good to stretch my muscles and really move again, when I woke up it was 5:24 a.m. (the time when I normally get up to exercise) and I was wide awake.

I had not planned on working out this week, I figured I needed a bit more time to heal. It hurts to put a shoe on and while the pain in my back and shoulder is gone they are still a bit stiff.

But my body had other plans in mind, it was craving the workout and was determined to get one.

So even though I didn't go to bed until almost midnight, I crawled out of bed and headed to class.

I took it easy on my shoulder and I had a bit of trouble kneeling on my leg, but for the most part the workout felt amazing.

I came back home and crawled in bed with Rob and went back to sleep for a while, something else my body decided it wanted. When we got out of bed I asked if it was possible to crave exercise because it was a strange new feeling for me and he did assure me it was possible.

I didn't think I would ever be to a point where I wanted to exercise, I like how it makes me feel, but in the past if I didn't make it or went months without going it was no big deal.

My goal is to be in really great shape by our 10 year anniversary in August, we are planning to hike the back side of Timp and it is a very tough hike.

Plus who doesn't want to look hot on their anniversary.

Rob and I have started calling it J80X, and although I have been getting a slow start I think I am finally getting into my groove.

I hope!!

Pity Party

I feel like I am throwing myself my own personal pity party today, I just feel frustrated. I am trying to learn to love myself, flaws and all, but that doesn't mean I can't try to improve myself right. No harm in that. But when I am working hard and not seeing any results I start to feel really frustrated.

Today my pity party theme is my hips, butt, and thighs. I try to be proud of these because they are the result of carrying 3 babies, and I wouldn't trade my babies for anything. But my youngest baby is now five and I feel like I should do something about it. I want to enjoy time at the pool with my kids and that means feeling good in a swim suit. So I have been trying, working out a ton, and counting my calories.

But the weight is still hanging on for dear life.

I started a protein diet on a recommendation and I feel great, I started seeing results, but then they stopped and I gained 3 pounds.

Which is when I decided to throw my pity party.

The hubs seems to think I am just bloated and maybe I shouldn't get on the scale for a few weeks. I am thinking about taking his advice, drinking lots of water, really watching what protein I eat, cut out the sugar, and limit my carbs.

I want to love my body just like it is, but I feel in order to do that I need to improve a few things.

Why as Women do we do this?

I want to be a healthy example for my girls, I want to love me for me. I want them to be healthy, and eat healthy because they want to, not because they are afraid of the weight they are gaining.

I work out because I like how it makes me feel, yes I want the fat gone from my hips, thighs and butt, but even when it is I will still continue working out because I feel good and that is all that matters.

But I also have to work on loving me for me, and it isn't easy, but I will keep trying because I am worth it!!