Friday, January 1, 2016
Last year I chose to focus on the word peace. I wanted to feel more peace amidst all the craziness and stress that was our daily life. I wanted so badly to find peace in those moments when I felt like everything was going wrong and falling apart. Now that I look back on 2015 I realize praying for peace is like praying for patience: you can only learn to find peace through trials that are anything but peaceful.
In 2015 I did find peace, and I am grateful I did. My peace came in learning to trust my Heavenly Father, his plan for me, and by leaning on him in my times of need. It came from realizing the power of my Savior's atonement in my every day life, and that his atonement is so much more than just forgiving me for my sins. It came from showing gratitude for all of the little things I am given each day, and finding the blessings in the hard days as well as the good. And it came through a lot of prayer, scripture study, and hard work.
I have learned that peace is not a state of everything being perfect, because life is not perfect and the majority of the time it is messy and chaotic, instead peace is something we choose to carry with us.
Just as we create our own happiness, we create our own peace.
I told Rob about my word for this year and mentioned peace was my word for 2015, he laughed and asked if I would please focus on something a little safer this year. I assured him that was already my plan.
This year I have chosen to focus on the word complete. I have realized a lot of the chaos I feel is from being unprepared, feeling like I have a giant to do list, things are falling through the cracks, and that I am letting others down. So this year we are not starting any new projects, I will be really careful about the commitments I make, and we will focus on completing many of the projects we have been working on here or there over the years.
This paper has sat on my desk for the last few weeks, and as I have thought of something that needs to be finished I would write it down. I have thought of a few more things that need to be added, and in reality I will probably add things all year long, but it is a start and a perfect focus for 2016.
I am excited for the possibilities of this new year, but I am also grateful for all that 2015 has taught me. I hope I am more kind to those around me and filled with more compassion to those who are struggling. I hope I am better now than when 2015 started, and I hope at the end of 2016 I am better than I am now surrounded by a lot of completed projects.